let’s talk about endgame: pt. ii

while my first endgame post focused on parts of the film that made me want to Recoil so far into myself so that i never have to see a world without tony stark, natasha romanoff, and original steve n bucky in the same timeline ever again, this post will be more focused on things that i Loved and that deserve more recognition than it got.

also yall, ive got so many avengers reaction memes, this my mf calling

i mean, look at him. he’s an idiot.

i’ve Loved ant-man since his film came out. like, he’s such a lovable rogue and anyone who thinks he’s useless can actually fist fight me in a car park of a kfc at two in the morning bc im not fuckin having it.

ant-man really is That Bitch! he’s the one who suggested time travel, he’s the one who suggested the pym particles, he’s the one who wanted to keep going from day one the minute he got out of the quantum realm. also, scott n hope have such Fat heart eyes for each other, they made my heart bust an uwu i’ll tell u that.

sis coming back from the quantum realm

he’s also so fucking funny and probably loves captain america more than i do. like, he’s such a fan boy i have to Giggle omfg. i just Love how well he’s written. like, he’s a dumbass but he’s also like, not. he’s gOt A dEgReE iN eLeCtRiCaL eNgInEeRiNg but also suggested saving the world with the plot of back to the future (i mean, it still worked though so, who are we to judge). overall, scott lang is such a sweetheart and he brought such a lighter and goofier energy to endgame that i didnt know i needed until he showed up.

but oh my god can we Please talk about that scene where scott comes back from the quantum realm bc of the real mvp, ratatouille. paul rudd’s performance when he learns of the decimation and is searching for cassie’s name like she’s the only living thing on earth and then the horror he experiences upon seeing his own name was so heart-breakingly powerful. like, ugh his mind! and then when he reunites with cassie (who looks way too old to be his cassie btw like, it was only five years so she should b like thirteen or something but this is me just being nitpicky) it’s just the sweetest thing ever. like, my heart busted the fattest uwu im-

sis then clocking that half of the universe Dead lol

also omfg! the song that plays through this scene makes it all the more intense and sadder. “becoming whole again” plays throughout and i swear, in that moment my blood went cold. like, alan silvestri and paul rudd invented talent, like i really don’t know what to do with myself and endgame came out a month ago next week n it’s still got me quaking! it’s just too powerful.

professor hulk has my whole heart, guys. i admit that i’ve seen every mcu movie apart from the hulk’s But i Promise that i will bc my friend told me to and bruce deserves more recognition for all that control. like, he really dabbed and kept it stepping. the power he possesses blows my mind. he’s also so kind and loves his friends so much i-

unacceptable!

when he gave scott that taco too. whew chile i swear to god i died and was born again like, why is he like this? who said he was allowed to be such a sweetheart?

seeing him get back up on his feet after the events of infinity war just made me so proud of him. albeit, it was strange seeing the hulk wear sweaters but my mans is happy and doing his best. he stepped up when no one else could in order to bring half of the universe back and he tried to bring back nat too in the process, he’s just so sweet and such a fighter and i respect him so much.

tony: that much gamma exposure should’ve killed you
bruce: so you’re saying that the hulk…saved my life? saved it for what?
bruce: i guess we’ll find out

also did someone say foreshadowing! take this from avengers (2012):

im not saying that that is perfect foreshadowing. but that is perfect foreshadowing.

we get to see bruce emerge from this very angry, even suicidal character who despises himself entirely, to a character that has learnt to make his once enemy and his own self co-exist, and for that i am thankful for the mcu for really shaping this character and giving him the accolades he deserves.

you know, i wasn’t going to talk about natasha because it makes me too sad but my mother didn’t raise a coward so

natalia alianovna romanova served better.

you know im right and you know i should say it.

black widow never got her own movie before endgame and i think that’s part of the reason why i’ve felt so detached from her since iron man two. because even though we’ve gotten to know over the years and have had some insight into her life, we never got her full origin story and so whereas i always regarded her as valuable to the team, i never got to connect with her like how i can connect with ant-man, thor, captain america, tony stark or captain marvel, the latter of which has just been introduced but who i feel like i know, yanno?

yall im so sad

but that fight between clint and nat in vormir just had me in such a heavy state of anxiousness and sadness. i mean, i knew it would be her but i hoped to god it wasnt. i didnt want it to be clint either but im more detached from clint than i am from nat and i know how much everybody else Loves nat. both the avengers themselves and the fans especially with her cute lil scenes and interactions with the other avengers like her friendship with steve throughout the franchise n her role in infinity war when saving wanda – twice. like, ugh, her mind! she is a benevolent queen and i have foolishly decided to stan when it is too late.

natasha really came through as selfless. she really kept the avengers going for Five Whole Years while she grew her roots out in a pit of sadness. like, i love her sm and she really proved herself in endgame. although, it shouldn’t have taken this long for nat to have come through like she did -perhaps if she had gotten her own movie years ago we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

still, her death hit me hard, especially knowing that “not good”, the piece music that plays over nat’s self-sacrifice, is essentially the same as “even for you”, the piece of music that plays over gamora’s death scene in infinity war. the russo brothers n alan silvestri rlly came through for those cinematic parallels and they honestly don’t care about my feelings.

ugh. i just wish natasha could’ve been at the battle of earth fighting alongside her family.

even though i didnt want it to be her, i understand why it was her. but what i dont understand is why they couldn’t even give nat an on-screen funeral. it’s the least she deserves n they couldn’t even give her that! like, i was so, so mad and i still am. it’s almost as if they don’t care enough that such an integral character sacrificed themselves for Half of the Universe. like lol i wanna see some tears fam. plus it’s already a three-hour movie, what’s like, seven more minutes lol?

speaking of cinematic parallels, we’re going to talk about That scene. more specifically, the scene in which the female avengers come to peter’s rescue.

the twelve year-old within me fuckin Screamed oh my god !!!! watching this scene for the first time i shrieked and so did the whole movie theatre and that’s the power of diversity within cinema. like, my heart was beating so fast and i was just So happy! even more so because i know that young girls all over the globe are gonna see this and know that they’ve got their own, strong role models. like, we rlly don’t have to play-pretend to be male superheroes out of the lack of choice anymore and that is so powerful.

however, i wont say that it was perfectly natural, but im having this internal conflict with myself that’s like, “should it matter though? you’ve asked for this scene for as long as you can remember, and now that you’ve got it, ur feeling some type of way bc it felt ‘forced’? tragic.” my english teacher and i spoke about this scene and she called it “contrived” and “patronising”, and i mean, she’s right and she should say it even though i don’t want to hear it bc the kid inside me who never got to see herself on the big screen through women – and women of colour characters at that – is just screaming with excitement so loudly. i mean, it is contrived and they prolly most definitely did that for diversity points but it kinda felt like a bit too much too late. i mean, most of these female avengers have never so much as spoken a word to each other, and therefore have definitely Not formed any long-lasting, special or meaningful relationships built on trust, love n solidarity, and while it was calling back to nat’s “she’s not alone” in infinity war, it certainly was contrived in the sense that there were plenty of other moments for badass women to get together n fight but they just shoved this one in our faces n said “here u go, beloved. shhh about female representation in action n superhero movies now”. and while that probably wasn’t their intention, it sure felt like it regardless, bc as i said, the majority of these women don’t know each other and there were other moments when these women could’ve teamed up in both infinity war n endgame combined.

the end.

so, was it forced? yes. was it politically correct? yes. but did i love it? yes. and was it inspiring? hell fuckin yes. because i know that five to fourteen year old me would have Loved this and seen no fault in it and would not stop going on about it for days! and a lot of other young girls and people with younger siblings have said the same – that this scene made them n their younger sisters go fucking wild! and if it makes them feel happy and represented then i’ll take it. it’s not perfect, but it’s a start. and it also made so many misogynistic, grumpy men and dumb teenage boys mad too so lmaooo i’ll take it Ten Times if i know that they got pressed over seeing female avengers tag team to save a boy.

and i-
oop!

like, even though i agree that it was contrived it just made me so full of joy upon first seeing it and i don’t think that i can ever forget how it made me feel. sitting in the theatre and seeing the camera continue to pan up and up and up as more and more women came flying into the shot ready to fight, i jumped up in my seat like so many other people – both women and men – in the cinema. it was really powerful upon first watch and i don’t think that i’ve witnessed anything else that made me feel like that before. like, the aura it radiates is just too powerful ugh n it makes stoopid men mad! it’s tokenism but eugh, i mean, i enjoyed it and half of me is mad that i do bc i’ve just given in to it but ffs it was so fucking awesome and badass and i just want to enjoy things even if they are somewhat problematic but yanno what? i’ve been waiting for something like this for seventeen years and i’m going to grab it with both hands. maybe marvel doesn’t deserve such a scene, but i sure as hell do. and maybe this scene wasn’t for me, specifically. perhaps it was for the ten year-old girls who get to grow up in a time with several woman superheros being Iconic n don’t see it as ‘unnatural’/’forced’ at all, yanno. all i know is, younger me and my baby cousins, had they been old enough to watch and understand this scene, would’ve died n been resurrected from it and that’s what im choosing to take out of it.

captain marvel man, bby what is u doing. unlike several ppl i know that have something negative to say about carol danvers and brie larson, i am in love with both. however, i will say that captain marvel’s appearances in endgame are… questionable.

for instance, it was very predictable that she would come n save tony n nebula but omg i would stab a man for carol danvers and seeing her complete any task makes my heart swell, so

but like, they made this big thing of her being a key figure in endgame in the infinity war post-credits scene, the captain marvel post-credits scene and the endgame trailers, but homegirl was in the three hour-long movie for about six minutes combined. this was probably because she is too fucking powerful and her strength is out of place with the rest of the avengers’ abilities. plus they don’t know her well and a new addition to the team in the biggest movie of the franchise so far and also the last of phase three where they don’t have time to work in a completely new character to the team would just b Long. and on top of that, expecting carol and the other avengers to b buddy buddy just like that, wouldn’t make sense. so, i mean i get why they made it so she was only there as a deux ex machina bc aint nobody know her but nick fury and the tesseract and even then, only one them can speak n the one who can speak is temporarily dead so :// but i still wanted to see her interact more with everybody else n see how the relationships would’ve built up

like yeah, okay sis, every planet is dealing with the same shit as earth but earth is the planet in which people are actively and very much close to working out a real n doable solution to purple grape’s actions, so maybe – just maybe – u should come to where all the action is n fight the good fight bc they need u to.

tony in heaven lookin at the avengers if they dont have their shit together while he dead.

im so looking forward to her in the next phase though. like, if she doesn’t carry this franchise like how my mans anthony h. stark carried it on his back for a whole Ten years then i am going to demand a Refund and to pls speak to the manager bc that Can’t run, are you joking me?

but omg her lil “hey peter parker, you got something for me?” had me stunned idk man. like, i know i keep saying it but ugh! her mind, it amazes me sometimes.

other things in no particular order that i won’t go into detail on bc they are either really small or pain me too much are:

“mr. stark we won…tony, we won”
  • tony stark. ugh, he deserved so much better. he finally got the life he deserved but was met with the ending he always knew he was destined for. yall dont even know how much my heart aches when i think of morgan growing up without him n and probably not even being able to remember him in a few years also, pepper, happy, peter and the rest of the avengers living without him too. sometimes, i’ll just be living my best life and then in the middle of history class i’l think about how we will never see tony again or hear another joke of his or witness him delivering some sass and i just get so immensely sad oh my god why have i invested so much of myself into this universe more than the one i actually live in. also lol, both the hulk and purple grape screamed in agony upon using the infinity gauntlet while anthony edward stark wore that shit like a mf, saved the world for the sixteenth time for the day – and all before dinner at that – said his lil badass line, and didnt even flinch once! ugh, a man.
  • tony and nebula’s friendship! omg i just Know that she was Auntie Nebula to morgan which makes me so full of love. tony was her first friend and being with him in space was the first time she won something and tony gave her that. their friendship wasn’t something i expected but it was definitely something we deserved. like, it was the softest, most unpredictable thing and i think about it a lot. i would’ve Loved to see these two be buddies in future mcu movies but Somebody just had to die and make sure that we couldn’t have that.
  • rocket and nebula holding hands! mcu, u never fail to defeat me. these two lost everything and them connecting over their grief and being a shoulder for one another had me in mf pieces i’ll tell u that.
  • thor went for the head. “totally fine” plays in this part of the film and for the first forty seconds or so, it is the same music as “porch” from infinity war, the chilling piece of music that plays right at the end of the film as purple grape takes a seat at – quite literally – his porch in his garden and smiles to himself knowing that he has just decimated half of the Entire universe. the music alone is just so powerful and so sad and knowing that immediately after thor exacts justice on purple grape, he is still broken n retires to new asgard to play fortnite with korg n miek and drink beer bc he has lost everything 😦
me when thor was like “don’t say his name” like omg, even after thor was the one to murk him, he’s still tortured by purple grape 😦
  • thor breaking down when professor hulk says purple grape’s name. ugh my poor bby, i just want him to b happy wtf
  • rocket n thor! iconic duo, dare i say it, iconic duo
  • cap in the support group, mirroring sam in winter soldier as well as knowing full well that sam would b doing the same had he not been dusted by purple grape
  • rhodey and nebula’s friendship!
ngl, but we already saw this man lose his family right before his eyes n then u wanna show me This scene? fuck u, marvel.
  • when clint trials going back in time and this is successful. he then rushes into his house and calls for his daughter but is pulled back to the original timeline right before he can see her. omg. my heart? broke. my eyes? flooding. my feelings? hurt. hotel? trivago.
  • peter quill dancing to the iconic ‘come and get your love’ by redbone and then rhodey proceeding to knock him out bc quill is a dumbass
  • tony and howard! n when tony hugs his dad with all he’s got – yall really wanna see me cry, dont you marvel?
  • and jarvis!
  • tony ranting to steve after he is rescued by carol. he’s right and he should say it but it broke my heart in the process. but also like, tony could’ve called steve himself in infinity war like bruce suggested n the two could’ve tried to fight purple grape together, otherwise there was no possible way steve could’ve ended up in titan, but tony was too stubborn lol i just want the two to be friends again bc i know comic!cap is so far up tony’s ass he’s basically scott lang. this was long overdue from civil war and i knew it was coming, just not when 😦
me for the whole three hours, let’s just be real
  • then tony hands steve his arc reactor n then collapses onto the floor, Sigh
  • but still, steve rushing to the spaceship when he sees tony, weak, small and prolly dying emerge from its doors. heart of fucking gold, i’ll tell you that
  • and then “i lost the kid” lord have mercy pon the left breast, oh my god! i swear to you i could cry right this moment.
  • also lol, all it takes is one (1) single look at a picture of peter parker for tony to save the world again knowing all that he could lose. heart! of! gold!
i mean
  • “that’s america’s ass”
  • “hail hydra!” not only do i Love this just bc it’s so badass, hilarious, and an Amazing call back to winter soldier (one of my fave mcu films n one of my fave scenes from the mcu at that), but it’s also bc steve prolly learned this shit from nat. steve would’ve kicked all their asses again in that scene but he learnt from nat how to manipulate, how to get what you want using ur words, wits and knowledge of ppl, our behaviours and ur surroundings. like, how she did loki in avengers (2012) and getting him to talk about his scheme, as well as in winter soldier, she used her wits and ability to manipulate allowing her n cap to escape the mall untouched bc she knew that pda makes ppl feel weird. like, she’s too powerful, even when she’s not there.
  • tony n pepper fighting alongside each other – iconic duo
  • “tell me something; in the future, what happens to you and me?”
  • “i try to kill you…several times…but eventually we become friends – we become sisters
wanda, bby, u are a legend.
  • i dont even know who you are”
  • “you will” – wanda could’ve Murked purple grape right there n then, ion even care. we know she’s too powerful and we should say it. like, her anger rlly came through, sis had me so shook i thought she was angry at me and i was about to apologise lol
yes. it is i, boo boo the fool, trying to convince myself that nat didnt yeet herself off of that mountain
  • yall remeber when nat said “see you in a minute” and then she didn’t
  • “tell my family i love them”
  • “tell them yourself” ugh her mind!
  • t’challa calling clint by name in the final battle of earth – i guess he did care about what he was called after all
  • “QUEENS”
  • “activate instant kill”
  • cap tightening the strap on his shield right before he comes for thanos’ neck cause his arm got sliced but he’s a Bad Bitch that Never Stops
black panther posting up at the battle of earth
  • “on your left”
  • when the decimated avengers come through the portals, starting with black panther and you could feel the spirits of the cinema just lift and the weight of the world just shift a lil bit
  • “avengers… assemble!”
tony n peter deserved more time together im so sad i-
  • tony n peter’s hug. they’re there.
  • steve seeing peggy through the window – poor bby 😦 but at least he got that fuckin dance yeah boi even though i despise the fact that happy endings now have become synonymous with lazy writing but :// that’s none of my business
  • “you know, i wish there is a way that i can let her know… that we won, we did it”
  • “she knows… they both do”
  • the asguardians of the galaxy! i was robbed of the revengers in thor ragnarok n i sure as hell won’t be robbed of the asguardians of the galaxy

ugh, i really, really do love this movie despite some of the issues i have with it. like, i will never ever ever be as excited for another film as i was for endgame.

like, deadass, i think about this film every day, im not even exaggerating.

im so happy to b a part of the mcu generation like, lmao, it’s like how our parents n older family members were a part of the star wars generation and now we’ve got our own thing for ourselves that has a reputation on par with that franchise too. like, im really fuckin screaming!

we owe so much to everybody involved in the making of this universe, like, i really am forever grateful.

the only reasonable solution to post-endgame sentiments

in conclusion, i love this universe with all my heart. and even though endgame really hurt my feelings, i love it 3000 too.

lauren

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